Sunday, April 3, 2011

BACON: THE GATEWAY MEAT?

They say marijuana is the gateway drug.


Naw, BACON IS! And I'll prove it by quoting this article:


http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/02/02/133304206/why-bacon-is-a-gateway-to-meat-for-vegetarians






"90 percent of what we taste is really odor, bacon's aggressive smell delivers a powerful hit to our sense of how good it will taste."
The odoriferous potency of bacon is like a blowjob for your nose. Not quite sex, but close enough. And let's be honest here, once you've had sex, you never go back to those virgin days.


""I have long thought if for some reason I ever started eating meat again, I would start with bacon.""
QUOTIN' A QUOTE! Not quite like marijuana, i'll admit. Bacon is more like the start and the end in an endless loop of bacon.


"bacon is one- to two-thirds fat and also has lots of protein, it speaks to our evolutionary quest for calories"  
Bacon is synonymous with manliness. What does marijuana say to our evolutionary quest? NOTHING, unless you're a delusional hippy who convinced him/herself that eating little flowers is good for you. 

And if those reason weren't enough, check out the full article, it's some interesting stuff ( I hit all the highlights).

Oh and, did you know pigs are good swimmers?



It's a sea of BACON!

So, how could bacon get any better?

Friday, April 1, 2011

SCENT BY THE GODS

I apologize for missing two daily posts, there was a power outage at my house.

Naw, I was too busy applying BACON COLOGNE. SCENT BY THE GODS. Seriously though, there was an outage. But I digress, BACON COLOGNE!

HOLY BALLS OF ZEUS!


Men LOVE the smell of bacon. Women LOVE men. EVERYONE SHOULD SMELL LIKE BACON.

It'll get you laid.
It'll land you a six figure job.
It'll take you and your entourage of the world's elite to the top of the world where you drink bacon-flavored red wine and dine on finely roasted strips of swine whom were handpicked by the god of the Sun, Apollo, who fried it himself with the force of a thousand suns.  

In the least, it'll make you pretty damn hungry. 

Here's where to buy it: 


So, would you spray?